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Demiaverse: Clouds by *Q-Lok:iconQ-Lok:



A lightning bolt arced through the stormy air, barely missing the blue Demia as she darted out of the way.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you don't deserve him!"

"What?!"

"And more importantly, because he doesn't deserve YOU!"  Another blast of electricity soared through the air from NiMBUS' hand.

As RAiN dodged through the clouds, her mind raced.  This feud between herself and NiMBUS had been going on for over a week, in Waking-time, and she still could not figure out why.  Throwing a layer of cloud between her and her assailant, she ducked below the cover it provided, trying to stay out of sight.  Because he doesn't deserve me, thought RAiN.  What does she mean by that?

"I have no control over his actions.  He left of his own free will!"

"And that's why you're pathetic!  He left in spite of what you two had!"  The tempest increased in its rage, badly throwing off RAiN's flight path.  Water stung her eyes as it whipped across her body, and the wind made it impossible to fly properly to avoid the perpetual attacks.  With no other option, RAiN flew out from her cover, firing her own lightning attacks in desperation.  Unfortunately, the angry sky was NiMBUS' territory and she navigated the whirling clouds expertly, avoiding each and every blast.

"You can't maintain your little storybook romance at all," shouted NiMBUS.  "We wrote the storybooks, and even we have no purchase to live them!"

"He left because he had to!" RAiN yelled back.  "It had nothing to do with me!"

"Didn't it?!"

RAiN knew she was cornered once again, so with not another word she resumed fleeing before NiMBUS' unprovoked assault.
©2009 *Q-Lok
:iconq-lok:

Author's Comments

A little quickie thing I've had in my head for a few days now. It's been raining ridiculously hard for about a week on pretty much a daily basis, and with odd weather comes symbolic Demia stories, as always.

Also, I was bored trying to force myself to write for Shipnet (a project that may or may not ever make it here, depending on whether the Bay 12 forums like it at all), so there you go.

NiMBUS, RAiN, WiNG, Demiaverse concept © me

Critiques


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:iconallmightysmiter:
Oooh! It perks my curiosity! I find myself reeeeeally wanting to know what happens now! And what happened right before (in detail).

--
"If you prick my finger I bleed red. Not pink. Not Blue. Not confetti. But red. Just like everyone else."

~Tom Blurpy

"Whats gone is forever lost, now all we can do is live."

"W00T! We will name him Sparkles and he shall be our squishy!" -*m-0h
:iconideya-freak:
I'd say this was pretty good... Critique wise... I'm not really sure. I think the only thing that could use work is your pace, but other then that this was well written.

--
Don't be eager, call in four days...

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
:iconq-lok:
Explain further, please. Which parts did you find the pacing off in?

--
</ego>

Good cheese comes from happy cave spiders; happy cave spiders come from Boatmurdered!

Baby Bluefire says: "I'm laser convince-able!"
:iconq-lok:
You know, I'm not entirely sure on either of those counts. I didn't think it through very far in either direction. I do know that the near future of the story has CiRRUS breaking the fight up, though, so there is always that to look forward to me actually writing.

--
</ego>

Good cheese comes from happy cave spiders; happy cave spiders come from Boatmurdered!

Baby Bluefire says: "I'm laser convince-able!"
:iconallmightysmiter:
Aww. I'll be looking out for it, then! :D

--
"If you prick my finger I bleed red. Not pink. Not Blue. Not confetti. But red. Just like everyone else."

~Tom Blurpy

"Whats gone is forever lost, now all we can do is live."

"W00T! We will name him Sparkles and he shall be our squishy!" -*m-0h
:iconq-lok:
To be honest, I'd kinda hoped that my dropping the name CiRRUS would have raised more curiosity from you. After all, that just now was the first time I've ever publicly mentioned the guy. ^_^ Oh well, you'll just have to wait until I actually get around to finishing up all the stuff I have for him.

--
</ego>

Good cheese comes from happy cave spiders; happy cave spiders come from Boatmurdered!

Baby Bluefire says: "I'm laser convince-able!"
:iconallmightysmiter:
^^; I've been gone a week with no computer access. And before that I couldn't keep up with all the journals, messages and alerts. I figured I was BOUND to miss something. I thought he was one of the ones I had missed.

--
"If you prick my finger I bleed red. Not pink. Not Blue. Not confetti. But red. Just like everyone else."

~Tom Blurpy

"Whats gone is forever lost, now all we can do is live."

"W00T! We will name him Sparkles and he shall be our squishy!" -*m-0h
:iconq-lok:
Ah. Nope, I haven't made a real Demia update in almost a year, so you haven't missed anything much where my work is concerned. ^_^ Don't worry too much about it; I'm just being egotistical.

--
</ego>

Good cheese comes from happy cave spiders; happy cave spiders come from Boatmurdered!

Baby Bluefire says: "I'm laser convince-able!"
:iconallmightysmiter:
Worry is my middle name. :XD: Some friends scold me for it. I try to keep up to date. And I get annoyed with myself if I can't keep up.

--
"If you prick my finger I bleed red. Not pink. Not Blue. Not confetti. But red. Just like everyone else."

~Tom Blurpy

"Whats gone is forever lost, now all we can do is live."

"W00T! We will name him Sparkles and he shall be our squishy!" -*m-0h

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June 13
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